Sexuality

What men and women want from relationships is very different, and to love your neighbour as yourself, it is necessary to know what the other person wants.

Women are at least as attracted by protectiveness as they are by physical appearance. In order to feel protected, women need to create some kind of bond with their male partner. This is sometimes incorrectly described as women having a more emotional need when it comes to sex.

Women like:

To be talked to.
To be made to laugh.
To be hugged (it helps that women are smaller than men to have a 'protected hug').
To be kissed.
To have men lead the process.
Women also like to initiate the process (through eye contact etc.), but will rarely dislike attention of this kind.

This fulfills the female drive to be protected. With regards to sex, the female erogenous zone is far less sensitive than the male, so much of the sexual attraction comes from a feeling of protection. Women may take a long time to reach orgasm, so it helps if men can keep going for a long time. It is possible for men to have orgasms and not ejaculate, which is a male multiple orgasm, and allows men to continue having sex for longer (I suggest that men find out about this).

Men like:

To have sex.

Everyone likes:

To be loved.

Most people like:

To have attention.

It is beneficial to see the professionals doing it. In modern society, with the exception of foreign aid workers, porn stars love and serve their neighbour far better than anyone else. The Internet is widely used for freely available sexual images; 25% of search engine requests are for pornography and more than 40% of Internet users search for it. Women are much less stimulated by pornography than men because it is not protective, but it is still educational for both genders. It is interesting to note that porn stars (even the men) are completely shaved. You have to admire them for it, because removing hair is a painful and awkward thing to do involving waxing, shaving, epilators, plucking, nasty smelling creams that burn, electrolysis, red marks, ingrowing hairs, and so on, even on their most sensitive parts. They probably do this because both men and women are generally more attractive without bodily hair than with it. Unfortunately, men have much more hair and it is much thicker and more difficult to get rid of than female hair.

Other things that can make people more sexy:

Smelling nice.
Being clean.
Having confidence.
Clean teeth and fresh breath.
Body tone (exercise) – especially men.
Cosmetics – especially women.

The alternative to the kind of relationship described above is marriage. Far from being a protector/protected relationship, this resembles a master/slave relationship. The need for protection in women is much less fulfilled, and the male need for sex is restricted to one person, and only if he is doing what his wife wants. Men may sell their mind, body and soul for exclusive access to a female, only to find that she needs extra-marital affairs to feel protected. A relationship like this can lead to constant arguments, particularly if the male is reluctant to act in a slave-like manner. Ester Vilar's 'The Manipulated Man' claims that women are air-heads of very low intelligence, while men are highly intelligent people who just happen to like women. This is not true; women are perceptive social geniuses, capable of maintaining a male in a slave-like relationship for a long period of time. In addition, a man is predisposed to behave in the way that women want because of a desire to gain exclusive access to a female to ensure that he passes on his genes to the next generation.

Women have other adaptations that give them an advantage over men, such as a much wider field of vision that enables them to notice when a man is showing interest in her without having to look directly at him. Additionally, I suspect that women do not feel the emotion fear, which allows them to argue with a physically stronger male without worrying about the potentially violent consequences. Emotional fear is different from hormonal fear (adrenaline). From my own experience, this emotional deficit is why women are labelled as bad drivers, purely because there is no emotional fear of the other cars (this disadvantage is negated by experience, and women's judgement is not affected by violent emotion; overall, women are safer drivers than men).

Despite the adaptations that women have to take over the life of a man, and the tendency of men to submit to this for genetic reasons, men still have freedom of choice. I recommend that men take back their freedom and form relationships that are fulfilling for both genders.

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